So Tam told me today that everything that I ate before I started detox on Mon is now out of my system. And boy, I can tell! On my way to the group detox mtg on Sun, I went by Ricobene's and got a big, juicy cheeseburger, everything no onions. Mmmm...mmm...good! It's gone now...bye bye. So mostly juice and water is in my system...juice, water and the mighty mighty toxins. On Sun nite, I ate 1/2 bag, big bag, of flaming hot cheese puffs from cheetos. I love those things! I had to throw the remainder in the garbage yesterday since they were taunting me! Yes, chips do talk! It made me realize that I have to decide what I will be eating on day 22 when this things ends. I have no idea. Tam gave me a book called "Skinny Bitch" and it is hilarious! It is a no nonsense, in your face book, with cussing and all about being skinny but really it's about getting healthy. It talks about the the rotting flesh in your colon, the horrific treatment of animals, the pesticides and hormones that are overused as well as the sweetners in soda pop that barely passed FDA approval because they cause cancer. They (the two skinny bitches who wrote the book) say that you can not keep eating the same sh&t and expect to be skinny! In this book skinny=healthy. And they are right! Ever since my blood clots, I have had swelling issues with my right leg and ankle, especially in the heat of the summer. Today, there was no swelling! Renee and I call that "good ankle". Before today, I refused to believe that the swelling could be controlled by my diet. Then I saw that skinny ankle and I'm a believer! If you want to read more about the book, check out their site: http://www.skinnybitch.net/.
So if it wasn't enough that I was hungry, really hungry, I also had to do a total liquid diet today. Why you ask? Well I am glad you asked! Here's why...I am having a procedure tomorrow to kill my mighty mighty fibroids. Since I take coumadin, any invasive (using a knife to cut me open) procedure would be too risky. I would have to stop taking my coumadin and risk developing blood clots...no sirreee bob! So I did research on the internet and found a facility in Northbrook that uses the rays of the MRI machine to kill the fibroids. Bingo! That's the one for me! No anesthesia, no cutting, no long recovery time...sign me up! Well I went in to see if I qualified back in Feb and I did qualify. They told me that they were doing a study and my fees would be covered by the study since American insurance companies still consider this to be experimental. Yippee!! So the paper work process began and then nothing. I would call and no return call. What - don't they need my stats for this study?? Ok so more time passed and then I called again. The doc told me that the study ended and sorry that I was not informed. I pleaded, in my humble voice that I learned from my pledging days. It worked! Just like it did back in 1984 when I was a lowly gee, trying to make a dollar outta 15 cents! So the doc called the man next to the man who agreed to do it. Yippee! But then again, no call. I called again. Now the machine is broken. What?! Ok, well fix it dear Henry and call me back. So I wait. No call again. I call back. Now the solo nurse coordinator is out of the office...no one else knows how to schedule. What?! So I wait. No call again. I call back. The nurse finally schedules me. Yippee! But wait, my period starts 2 days before my appointment and spoils all the best made plans. So I wait again. No call again. I call back. I reschedule and so now, here we are...procedure tomorrow. The nurse is ready and available, the machine is working and the man next to the man said that he will pay. Yippee! But, you knew there was another one coming right? But now, I need a ride...to Northbrook...in the morning...and the evening...I can not drive myself. I asked my Soror Ladonna since she works out there but tomorrow is work from home day. Renee has work and a mtg in the evening. So I ask my momma. See, I still need my momma. She and her friend are going to take me and bring me back. Thank God for mommies!! I ask you to pray for me that all goes well tomorrow. I get to sit in the MRI machine for 4 hours and be still. I have to shave my pubic and do an enema in the morning. The nurse said that I will be tired tomorrow and Friday. I ain't claiming it. I got stuff to do. No time to sit around and give up my power to the mighty mighty fibroids. I will chill tomorrow, but I got the denim and white party on Sat nite. Gotta go show off my 5 day detox body! And my fierce hair do! Woo Hoo!
My last test for tonite, was a duel between my mind and my bowels during the first day of the "Living Powerfully" seminar at Landmark. So get this...I am detoxing and drinking 1 gallon of water, fruit and veggies and I am cleaning out my bowels in preparation for the procedure tomorrow. Whenever I hit the toilet, it's #1 and #2 together, all day long! They's married now! Well the class is 3 hours long without breaks. It starts at 7 and I parked at 7:05. Dammmiitt! I was already out of integrity and Landmark teaches you how to live an amazing and powerful life based on integrity. This is not a good look for the first day of class. As I pull up, I notice 15 other people in line to pay for parking. I am not the only late one...it seems, white people are late too! Yippee! I get in line and start talking and cracking jokes. I eventually end up in my seat at 7:30 pm. Now mind you, I had to drink Magnesium carbonate (a laxative) before I left home. By 8 pm, my middle section was having an emergency fire drill without my approval! I didn't get the memo! But I wasn't ready...I waited it out. I needed to hear this discussion. So I clenched up the cheeks, focused on the speaker and waited. It was like contractions...every 10 mins, I got the urge, but I don't take orders from my bowels...I give them! Well, by the 7th wave (as Sheila E said), I knew I had a problem. I had to go...so I went and went and went! Ok back to class then I had to take another set of pills to make me dooty some more. I take those pills at 9 pm. All during the class, I am drinking distilled water. In all, I drank 60 oz of water in 3 hours. Class ended around 10 pm - thank God! I gotta pee and dooty. I handled my biz and got out the door. I got home and realized that it ain't over yet. The last set of pills had not kicked in yet, but eventually they did. Whoosh is all I gotta say! Done with that and done with the water for tonite. No more eating and drinking until after the procedure. Imma be one hungry bitch tomorrow! So beware!
When you bring graciousness and gratitude to any situation, you will see sweet results!
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